We can talk about that goddamn shitty movie Maleficent till the cows come home, go on and on about how stupid it is to make such a simply evil but awesome villain the martyr for no goddamn reason.
But you know what I want?
I want a spinoff of the Beauty and the Beast about the one who cursed Adam (the beast,) the Enchantress.
Because this bitch
This fucking bitch, is possibly as evil, maybe even more evil and sadistic than Maleficent.
The Enchantress cursed the prince because he failed a test, he was unkind to her because she presented herself as an ugly old hag. She turned him into a werewolf minotaur hybrid (fucking cool I’ll give her that,) because he was rude to her and didn’t want her rose.
So she cursed him, along with every single one of his servants. What did his servants have to do with any of this? Why are they being punished?
Not only that, but this stood out to me when I watched the movie again. When the spell is broken, all of the monstrous statues and art pieces transform into graceful, beautiful ones, I’m assuming that’s what they looked like before.
So this enchantress not only cursed him and his servants (oh and his fucking DOG DID I MENTION THAT) she took away every beautiful thing he had, replacing them with things like goblins, dragons, ghouls and other monsters, just to remind him what he was and what she had done to him, and he would have to look at them every single day.
I’m going to rightfully assume she provided the magic mirror as well, all of the magic in the movie stems from her, the mirror most likely came from her. His only window to the outside world is a handheld mirror, so he can fucking look at himself.
But you know what the kicker is?
If we take these two lines into consideration
“The rose, which was truly an enchanted rose, which would bloom until his 21st year” ~Narrator
“Ten years we’ve been rusting…” ~ Lumiere
We can reasonably deduce that the Enchantress cursed the prince when he was eleven years old.
I want this filthy green bitch publicly exposed.
Not only did she curse an 11 year old, she cursed an 11 year old PRINCE in the middle of a dark night who refused a stranger shelter because, get this, I’m 20 and if some weird old lady showed up at my door in the middle of he night and was like Yo Can I Sleep Here i would probably just close and lock my door because!!!!
Who is she!!!! I don’t know her!!!! What if she tried to kill me or stole everything!!
This boy is a prince living in a palace of luxury and he was probably given the “don’t talk to strangers” talk by his (dead??) royal parents!! Or at least Mrs. Potts!! He was probably like this lady’s gonna steal our silverware and candle sticks in the middle of the night and all she’s giving me is a rose that was probably picked from our own garden?? Bye lady.
this pool is jarring against the background of your californian McMansion….splurge on that house but not on an in-ground pool?
That possibly dad individual on the right is so ripped what the heck
it’s the laps he does in that pool every morning
“My grandmother once told me, ‘Relationships are work, honey, and they aren’t 50/50. Some days when I get up I only feel like giving 10%, then your granddaddy has to give 90% that day. But there is always 100% love.‘”
You run a tattoo parlor. Every couple of weeks, the same customer comes in, always requesting the same tattoo: an additional tally mark on an ever-growing cluster of tally marks.
